Millennial Voices: Short-Circuit the Fear

posted in: Summer Sampler Series | 0

sea-758165_1920by Erin Tarr

As we sat in the coffee shop, me munching potato chips (way too loudly my husband would say) and she sipping a raspberry lemonade… we discussed her budding track career.

As a 7th grader, she still had one year of middle school left and then onto high school.

“Will you run in high school?” I asked.
“Probably not… there are other things I am more interested in spending time on.”

As I pressed gently for more information my young mentee mentioned that she was passionate about cheerleading… but had never been on or tried out for the squad.

“Are you going to try out this year?”
“I don’t know … I guess? Maybe?” she offered up meekly.

As our conversation continued, it became super clear that she.was.afraid.

Afraid of the unknown.
Afraid of what people might say.
Afraid of failure.

Who taught her to be afraid?
Girls aren’t born afraid…
But they do … almost inevitably
BECOME afraid.

Starting around nine years old, girls start to look to their friends instead of their parents for reassurance, and guidance…

But with all the young girls looking to each other … and no one REALLY knowing how to lead the way …

Fear and insecurities begin to take hold (thus the advent of “mean girls”).

Just an hour later, my young mentee left our meeting with a goal (to try out for cheerleading) and a plan (three solid steps to get to her goal) and a confidence to overcome the aforementioned fears.


I am so tired of talking to middle aged women with these same fears.
Don’t get me wrong … I LOVE talking to middle aged women about conquering their fears and living their best life …

But I am tired of HAVING to do this.
So I am getting to the root of the problem by catching it when they’re younger – teen and tween girls.

I help young girls gain confidence and make better life decisions by developing a great relationship with themselves and others.

These girls become…

• brave and kind
• confident communicators
• proactive and positive
• aware of their unique strengths, passions, and personality
• ready to meet and conquer their fears
• happy, healthy, and hopeful about the future

These girls will lead their moms and the previous generations as they support, encourage and inspire each other to move forward and claim their amazingness.

THIS. THIS is what the world needs.

Girls and women with reframed/positive mindsets, developed communication skills, and the confidence to live their best life… for Christ.

Erin Tarr cropErin Tarr is the founder and Head Confidence Coach at Be the Benchmark ( She is a speaker, writer, and mentor to young girls ages 8 – 18, coaching them in small groups and 1:1 to help them become the best version of themselves. As a Christian wife and mother – she considers her own three girls her primary “clients.”