How Does Mentoring Work?

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When speaking about mentoring, one of the most frequent questions I receive is HOW.

How do we get the ball rolling?
How do we connect mentors with mentees?
How do we develop meaningful and impactful mentoring relationships?

These are great questions to be asking, and over the next few months we’ll be hearing from women in mentoring relationships who are willing to share their experiences with us.

I’m going to kick things off with a few things that I’ve learned, both as a mentor and a mentee.

Be Aware.

A successful mentoring relationship requires a personality “click,” which is why an organic approach works so much better than most formal mentoring programs. So if we’re not using a program to match people, how do we even find someone? Looking for a mentor/mentee is not a passive thing. We need to be actively praying that God will bring the right person into our lives, and then we have to keep our eyes open for His answer. God will bring the right person at the right time, and more often than not, He will drop them right in our laps!

Reach Out.

Mentoring relationships don’t always start as such. Usually they start by grabbing coffee, or taking care of kids, or going grocery shopping together, or lunch after church. Initiating times to hang out (based on common interests) lets her know that you like her and value her. This is a great foundation upon which a mentoring friendship can develop.


Generally speaking, filling in the answers in a study book together is not what brings people close. Doing life together, being in each other’s stuff, and praying for each other and with each other regularly are the kinds of things that help deeper relationships to develop. Life-changing mentoring relationships take time and energy – a real investment! But it’s an investment that reaps huge benefits over time, both for mentor and mentee.

Got questions? Got insights? Email me because I would love to hear from you!

Thank you again for your faithful prayers and your partnership in this important ministry!

Keep hoping. Keep praying. Keep loving.

Kristi, for WeConnect